I Saw a Sign...

Yesterday I was walking around Woodfield Mall with my mom & my kids. I hate Woodfield Mall. It's crowed and confusing, the stores seem like they change constantly so you practically need a GPS to figure out how to get where you want to be, and it brings back bad memories. Those awkward High School years when I hung out there and hoped I would meet Prince Charming and never did because I was too shy & uncomfortable with myself. My mom hates it too and neither of us had been there in years but it had all the stores we wanted to hit under one roof so off we went anyway.

As I was walking around feeling the echo of those memories of  long ago I suddenly realized I was finally walking through Woodfield holding hands with, IMO, the cutest boy there. My gorgeous 8 yr old son. So being my silly self I updated my Facebook status:

"Walking thru Woodfield Mall holding hands with a cute boy"

and then I stopped quick, handed my mom my phone and had her snap a picture which I also dispatched to Facebook with barely a glance to just make sure I wasn't squinting or something. I went blissfully about my day feeling pretty pleased with myself not realizing what was lurking, literally, behind my shoulder.

Later back at my mom's I logged on to Facebook and clicked on that picture. That is when I noticed it. Of all the hundreds of stored in that stinking hell hole, I mean mall, I just happened to stop in front of a big girls clothes store just in the perfect spot so the words PLUS SIZES appear right over my shoulder. Really??? C'mon! My mom laughed and said "You should have stopped in front of Victoria's Secret". Um...yeah..like anyone would believe I shop there - not!

So I know every one is probably tired of my whining about my weight and my big lofty goals that go nowhere. I'm tired of myself and the multiple failures and flops.  I am officially back to where I started. I have gained it ALL back. 70 plus pounds! I don't know why I can't get motivated. I don't know why I can't stick with it. I know why I should. I have discussed those reasons over and over here in this blog. I was actually thinking about it yesterday morning AGAIN! What was I waiting for anyway? A sign from God? Huh. Well whether it was God, Fate, or just my own unconscious brain I guess I got one! You don't get a more obvious sign than bright white NEON hovering over your shoulder!

So I am starting again! First I am getting off the pop again because I was pretty much living on Diet Mt Dew during the Holiday Rush at work. I am rejoining Health Bridge so I can go work out and take my daughter to work out because we have to work on getting her strength back from her surgery last summer or she won't be able to play softball next summer and that would really suck. I am going to start bringing my lunch again and watching my portions. And I am going to start blogging again to keep myself accountable.

Wish me luck! I'm probably going to need it...